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Hi all!

Today, I'm celebrating Leo's birthday and taking him to Chuck and Cheese. Then I'm heading over to our AI Happy Hour so I hope to see you there!

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This Week's Journal

Dear Leo

This week, Leo turns 10.

Double digits.

And this birthday feels like a milestone for both of us.

Because ten years ago, he made me a mother.

I remember holding this tiny baby and having absolutely nooo idea what I was doing.

I was exhausted.
Scared.
Trying to hold together parts of my life that were already beginning to crack.

There were things happening behind closed doors that I didn't know how to talk about yet.
There were moments when the future I had imagined for myself disappeared completely.

But there was Leo.
My firstborn.

And somewhere along the way, loving him taught me something I didn't understand yet:

Sometimes becoming a mother doesn't just mean bringing a child into the world.
Sometimes it means finding the courage to build a completely different world for them.

And for yourself.

Over the last ten years, Leo has watched me become a thousand different versions of myself.

A young mom trying to figure everything out.
A woman starting over.
A single mother.
An engineer.
A founder.

Someone who failed.
Someone who rebuilt.
Someone who kept going even when I wasn't sure where "going" would lead.

But the funny thing is...

I thought I was raising him.

I didn't realize how much he was raising me too.

He taught me that home isn't always the house you imagined.

Family doesn't always look like the picture you were sold.

Strength doesn't always look strong.

** And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is decide that the story you are living doesn't have to be the story your children inherit. **

Today, Leo is 10.

He's funny and curious and kind.
He has his own opinions now. Lots of them. 😂

He is becoming his own person right in front of me.

And I know the next ten years will be different.
There will be less holding his hand crossing the street.
More letting go.
More moments when he won't need me to solve everything.
More parts of his life that will belong only to him.

That's the strange heartbreak of parenting.

You spend years teaching someone how to live without you.

So today I'm trying not to rush past this moment.

Because one day, I would give anything to have this version of him back for five minutes.

The 10-year-old boy standing in front of me today.
And the 10-years-older version of me standing beside him.

We both grew up.
We both survived things neither of us could have imagined.
And somehow, we built a beautiful little life along the way.

Happy 10th birthday, Leo.

You were my first baby.
My first great love.

And the person who unknowingly gave me the courage to change my life.

I hope one day you understand that while I was busy trying to give you a better story...

you were helping me write mine.

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📓 Founders Bay Journal — Dear Leo | Aug 19

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