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i Friends,
I'm getting ready for one of our biggest events of the year. Tonight with You.com, we're taking over an entire retro arcade in San Francisco for 500+ AI engineers, founders, investors, and creators. We already have a 100+ person waitlist and are partnering with some incredible companies including You.com, Brex, and Opsera. Event Link >>
A lot of you have been asking me lately:
"What exactly does You.com do?"
One of the things I'm most excited about is how builders are using the You.com Web Search APIs to create products that would have been incredibly difficult just a few years ago. If you're curious, check out this article:
Products You Can Build Today With the You.com Web Search APIs
On a more personal note, this event is especially meaningful to me.
Next week my son Liam undergoes a major surgery. I'll be taking some time away from events and community activities to be with him during the first few weeks of recovery.
So if you're joining us tonight, please come say hello. I'd love to see you before I disappear for a little while to focus on what matters most.
See you tonight ❤️
Mariane
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This Week's Journal
The Thing I Can't Think About
My son's surgery is next week.
And if I'm being honest, I am unable to think about it.
Not because I don't care.
Because I care too much.
Over the last few weeks I've found myself obsessing over everything else.
Events.
Work.
Communities.
Relationships.
Social posts.
Who likes me.
Who doesn't.
Anything but the surgery.
Every time I let myself think about it, I feel like I'll break.
I can organize an event for 500 people.
I can speak on stage.
I can negotiate sponsorships.
I can build teams.
I can handle a lot.
But the thought of someone taking my little boy into an operating room?
I can't do it.
At least not yet.
People see me hosting events and building communities.
What they don't see is the 2am thoughts.
The insurance paperwork.
The doctor's appointments.
The fear.
The guilt.
The quiet moments where I wonder if he's scared too.
A few weeks ago Liam asked me something.
"Mom, will I always have the disability?"
I hugged him and told him that it wouldn't define his life.
I told him I could see everything he could become.
I told him I could see the beauty that he couldn't see yet.
My son is one of the strongest humans I know.
Which somehow makes this even harder.
Because if I could take this surgery from him and carry it myself, I would.
Without hesitation.
As parents, we spend years protecting our children.
Band-aids.
Nightmares.
Bullies.
Broken hearts.
But sometimes life puts something in front of them that we can't fix.
All we can do is sit beside them and hold their hand.
And that's where I find myself today.
Trying to be strong.
Trying not to fall apart.
Trying to focus on events and work and everything else because the alternative is sitting with a fear that feels too big to hold.
Maybe that's what being a parent is.
Not being fearless.
But showing up anyway.
Next week my little boy will be wheeled into surgery.
And I know I'll smile in front of him.
I'll tell him he's brave.
I'll tell him everything will be okay.
Then I'll probably break down the second he can't see me anymore.
Because no matter how many people know my name, no matter how many communities I build, no matter what title I have...
The most important thing I will ever be is Liam's mom.
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